Operation: Life Update

Hello, my friends!

I have missed you. Greatly. Like, for serious.

I hope your January hasn't been too Januaryish and that all of your wildest dreams have come true.

I kinda like you guys a lot.

So, school started. And as much as I have told myself it wasn't going to be a crazy whirlwind and that I was going to keep my schedule under control and that I was going to cook and blog every day...

Well...

Life happens. Shock.

Let me give you a rough sketch of what I've got going on:

• 17 hours, including the most fulfilling, work-laden English classes offered by the university
• Also including a Practicum in which I'm compiling a journal for a literary conference
• Also including yoga. Thank goodness.
• Two jobs.
• Being President of our campus honor society
• Serving as a mentor for younger students on campus
• A blog

And to all of this mix, I have added...

An internship.

My dream internship.

Today, I learned that I'm going to be working at one of the publishing companies located in town. 

!!!

Sorry. I'm a little giddy.

I don't care if I'm the coffee-mistress/goddess of the sandwiches/"that dumb intern." I'm just excited that someone would let me watch how books are made. 

I've gone from a kid reading box while sitting inside a box full of books to learning how books are made. Seriously, how much cooler can it get?!

I know, I know. I'm a nerd.

But a very happy nerd, indeed.  

Gettin' Schooled

So today was my last first day of school.

Um...what?

Such virile, care-free little freshmen...

It's a funny thing, this school business. You compel a kid to be immersed in it for 17 years, then you send them off into the wild blue yonder with only their gumption and imaginations to sustain them.

Well, maybe it's not that extreme. They might have some 200 thread-count extra-long twin sheets to drag along. And that's about it.

Gone will be the experience of striving to find the right room number, to search a sea of faces until a familiar one rises to the surface. I will bid adieu to making small talk about the elapse of time where I will hear about 10,000 ways to convey that Christmas break was, indeed, a pleasant experience--or just "good." No longer will I rush through a syllabus to peruse the assignments and instantly gather my plan of attack in my head. I'll say farewell to the vows I make to myself every semester-- that I am a wise student who will not procrastinate on my assignments and essays and stay up til 4 am on deadline days yet again.


Well...maybe not that last one.

But now that I think about it, the "first day of school" experience is not something that will be leaving my life anytime soon. Anytime I launch into a new undertaking, I am consciously going through the motions of the first day of school: a desire of acclimation and a chance to prove my worth. This happens to me every time I get a new job, and I'm sure it'll happen when I go through other life transitions: getting married, having kids, getting a "real" job. I've got to remember that I wasn't born to be a student, as much as I'd like to think so. I have gone to school as preparation for doing something good for this world, and that is a comforting thought.

Also comforting: enough people love me that I know I won't starve in the next year.

As I was sitting through my lectures today, I couldn't help but think how blessed I am to have attended a university and have met the most knowledgeable but caring faculty I could've dreamed for. I am surrounded every day by educators who are not only passionate for their studies, but have an earnest desire to share that joy with fellow scholars. Teaching is one of the most noble professions because teachers shape the minds--and, consequently, the lives--of their students, which has a profound effect upon generations of people. However, most teachers do not get to see the fruits of their labor; they are only able to see their seed germinate. It's an awe-inspiring thought, if you try to wrap your brain around it.

Lately, I have been growing frustrated by the number of conversations I've been having with well-meaning, polite people about the status of my future plans. Observe:


Well-meaning, polite person: So I hear you're graduating in May! Congratulations! What are you majoring in?

Me: English!!! :D

Well-meaning, polite person: Oh! So you're going to teach?

Me: Well...no...

Well-meaning, polite person: ...

*crickets*


I want to shout from the rooftops that there's more to my major than being a teacher--that learning about the world I live in, the people who inhabit it, and those those people communicate with each other is one of the most valuable, marketable skills in the universe. There's not really a name for my passion or what I want to do with it--other than saving the world making the world a better place to live. Now I just need to find somewhere that I can write and talk about things that will make the world a better place...I think.

So here's to you, my last semester of school. May I stretch my brain to learn more about the world, how to better understand the people around me, and how best to meet their needs.

And if I end up a teacher, then I have some great models to follow.

Oh. You weren't expecting rambling? You wanted food?

Here you go.

I'm going through a pie phase. I can't help it. They're exceedingly delicious. 

You'll get to learn how to make it soon. I'll teach you.

...

Maybe I'll end up a teacher after all.

How To: Beautifully Crimp Your Pie Crust

This week, I haven't been around my laptop much.

I've actually been spending time with my family before I start my last semester of school...on Monday.

There has been much sleeping in, Mario Kart, late-night sweets, and giggly nonsense. I've gotten used to living at home again, and I'd rather not go back to the grind. In fact, I would say that I'd be a great professional hermit!

Any takers? Any at all??

...

In order to boost my portfolio in professional hermitism, I've decided to include a tutorial for making a pretty pie crust. I figure if I'm going to be a good hermit, I better make myself useful, right?

Right.

I've gotten many inquiries as to how I crimp my edges on my pies...which is completely ironic because I don't know anyone who crimps their edges like me. I just figured I was always doing it wrong. 

Oh, irony. You never fail to impress me!

To take these photos, I forced enlisted the help of my amazingly talented twelve-year-old sister. She's the master behind the photography you'll see today. 

Hi, Mariah! You're awesome, and I love you a lot.

First, you should have an unbaked pie crust in your possession. You can purchase one in the little red box at the store...but why do that when you can make this one? The items are in your pantry. Right now. Or my demon cat's name isn't Lucy.

You're right. It's Lucifer. 

Kidding! 

...

But only slightly.

Pick a place to start on your pie. It kinda doesn't matter because your pie will be a circle. 

Unless you're my freshman geometry teacher and you make square pies to instill that the area of a circle is "pies are squared." 

Pi * r 2. Get it?! Apparently, I did. I also remember that to teach us how to calculate sine, cosine, and tangent, she came up with this pneumonic: Old Hippies Are High On Acid. 

She definitely should've gotten paid more.

...

We now return to our regularly scheduled program already in progress. 

See what's going on here? All you have to do is take your two index fingers, press down on the dough, and push them together to make a little peak. 

Once you continue around the circle, you'll begin to notice your fingers making a loop motion--almost like you're making a J.

I hope that's not as clear as mud. If it is, I'll say this: make it look like the picture.

How's that for helpful?

I have a way with words. I am an English major.

Seriously, repeating that motion around the crust will make a beautifully crimped edge. And the beauty of pattern repetition doesn't stop at pie crusts. Repeating patterns will take you big places when you're piping the edges on a cake or placing fruit in a tart. The human eye can't get enough of a nice pattern; the little things really do take us a long way.

And there you have it: a beautiful pie crust that will serve you well in a variety of mediums.

Like this one.

Or this one.

It only takes a few minutes to give your pie some class, so why not? 

So...about that position as a professional hermit...

Still no?

...

Ok.

Peanut Butter Crunch Pie

It is a sad day when I pout at the thought of getting out of my pj's. 

Is this what the holidays have done to me? I scoff at the idea of going anywhere in favor of hibernation. Granted, it is the proper season to hibernate, but I'm not a forest creature...so I don't really have a good excuse to check out for the winter. 

And it doesn't really help my productivity that my mom has a sweet tooth the size of Alaska and keeps goading me to stay in the kitchen and make her things. Then again...it doesn't take much pushing to get me to make desserts.

I'm hopeless.

And so, coupled with my extreme lethargy and inability to let go of holiday confections, I made this pie.

The filling has only FOUR ingredients. Four. That's it. And that's all it needs. 

Four.

It's the perfect pie to make if you're in a bind and you need something sweet. This happens to me fairly often. I've come to terms with this. 

This recipe is inspired by one from my sweet Granny, so you know it's gonna be good.

Let's make it!

Bake yourself a pie crust. For the record, this pie would also be fabulous with a graham cracker or an Oreo crust. Let it cool to room temperature.

You will need: cream cheese, whipped cream, powdered sugar, and peanut butter. That's it. Isn't life grand?

Plop the cream cheese into a large mixing bowl. I tried to make the cream cheese a little more photogenic...but I think I made it even worse. 

I...I'm sorry.

Add your powdered sugar.

And beat them until they're well-combined.

There we go!

Add your peanut butter. Try not to swoon.

And, again, beat the mixture until everything is well-combined.

Relevant side-note: I use chunky peanut butter in my pie. I've used both crunchy and smooth, but I enjoy the crunch that the chunky provides. If chunky peanut butter isn't your thing (or you've got a little one who will help you eat it), go for the smooth. It'll be great!

Irrelevant side-note: I didn't know that chunky peanut butter existed until last year--seriously. My mom always used smooth. I don't didn't get out much.

And...back to the pie!

Oh...this is what I like to see.

It takes about all of me not to eat this entire bowl at this point. And I'm not even done yet.

Now add your whipped cream. Or Cool Whip. I don't care what you add, actually; I like them both. That might make me uncool...but I'm already a dork, so I don't have much to lose.

Start folding the whipped cream into the peanut butter mixture. I try to do this semi-carefully so I don't disturb the body of the whipped cream. 

If you're unfamiliar with folding, take your spoon, wipe it along the sides of your bowl, and flip the mixture into the middle of the bowl. Repeat a billion times; that's the basic premise.

Keep folding!

You can do it!

You're almost there. I promise!

Mmm...hello there.

(I think you can stop folding now.)

Just spoon the mixture into your pie crust of choice. You can let it chill for a few hours to firm up the texture, buuuuuuuuut...

I don't do that. 

Not that you should be like me or anything.

This is a tried-and-true that'll serve you well at potlucks, family functions, and whenever you need a quick-fix dessert recipe.

Unless you're allergic to peanuts. I never recommend anaphylactic shock to anyone.

Peanut Butter Crunch Pie

Print this recipe

• 1 9-inch pie crust, baked and cooled
• 8 oz. cream cheese, softened
• 2 cups powdered sugar
• 1 cup chunky peanut butter (creamy works, too, if chunky isn't your thing)
• 3 cups whipped cream, or 1-8 oz. carton of Cool Whip

In a large mixing bowl, cream powdered sugar and cream cheese until well-combined. Add the peanut butter, and mix well. Fold in the whipped cream into the peanut butter mixture; this process will take around 3-5 minutes. Pour into pie shell of choice; serve at once or chill, if firmer texture is desired. 

If you've been extra good lately, drizzle on your favorite chocolate sauce! Or...if you haven't been very good, maybe this will inspire you to do so. 

It's just a thought.

2011: The Year of Courage

Hello, friends.

So you know how everybody's been all pensive lately, recounting the year behind and facing the new one with resolve and determination?

Well...

All I have been doing is stuffing my face with this.

I count it as therapy for witnessing the Music City Bowl in person. Oh...my heart hurts as I think about it.

I'm sorry if you're not a Tennessee/college football fan/ESPN watcher.

Well maybe I'm not sorry. Then you'd know what I was talking about, and then your heart would be breaking too. And I wouldn't want that for you because I love you too much.

Sigh.

HOWEVER, I am determined to make the best of this year. This is going to be a year of change for me: my undergraduate career ends in May, I am (hopefully) going to find my first "real" job, and hopefully I'll have the skills to pay the bills--"hopefully" being the key word.

I'm not going to lie to you: I got a little teary at 11:45 last night thinking about the year that sits before me (I'm a live wire at parties, you know). I happen to be a worrier and a little bit of a control freak (thanks for those genes, Mom!), and I don't like looking into a cloudy, near-distant future that's going to impact how I'm going to live. However, I know that's pretty much how life is going to be--nothing in life is guaranteed, and each day is a precious gift. Lately, a dear friend has been been encouraging me to live in the moment, and I'm finding that there's so much beauty in simply appreciating each moment for what it is. And I'm consciously aware that life will not end if I don't end up with a job that I fully enjoy--or even get one right away. All I can do is work hard, pray, and make the most of what I have.

It's a good thing I enjoy beans and rice. Just sayin'.

So with all of the changes that I'm facing this year, I have deemed 2011 to be the year of courage and will strive to live by the mantra of, "The worst thing that ___________ can do is say no."

That is the very worst, right? Please don't tell me otherwise at this point. Please? I would rather just live in that comfort zone for a little while longer.

Despite my apprehension, I am excited about this year. While my brain is wrought with MAJOR CONSTERNATION at this point, my options (barring neurosurgery or rocket science) are conceptually limitless. I know I can survive living weeks at a time eating the same thing and getting minimal hours of sleep while still maintaining a fairly high level of productivity. I really like people, and I'm excited to actually put my education to use and feel like I'm actually doing something to help someone.

And...I'm ready to make more than minimum wage.

So here's to you, 2011. May I learn to adapt to new environments and unfamiliar situations, learn more about the world, and make my own whole wheat bread. I'm tired of staring at the bread aisle and debating on whether I'm going to spend $1 or $4 on edible or enjoyable starch.

And may I eat less of you.

...

Maybe.

A Culinary Christmas

So here is my Christmas post. Five days after Christmas.

I never said I was punctual.

So here are a few things that Santa blessed me with for the coming year. He really knows how to hook a girl up!

Shiny new all-purpose tools with a pretty canister to hold them--a must for any kitchen. I am especially fond of the slotted spoon, as it has a long handle that has already prevented me from burning myself while cooking pasta. Score for you, slotted spoon!

A brand-new rolling pin--the better to make biscuits and pie crusts with, my dear.

Wait a minute...who's that lurking on my sweet new tool?

Well, it's none other than my BFF Paula! Hello! My hips and I love your work!

A sturdy, dark cookie sheet. Nothing has stuck to this bad boy yet.

Oh.

Oh my.

EEEEEEEEEEEP!

These were most definitely unsolicited--as were all my other gifts--but whoa. These babies took me by surprise.

I could hardly force myself to open the box because I wanted them to stay as pretty as their picture.

Finally, I managed to crack the lid. 

I stared at this for approximately 5 minutes. No lie.

I psyched myself up to move off the lid.

And I decided to play it cool.

Oh. Hello, there.

Do you come around here often?

Maybeeeeeee I'll just see you in a few years when I'm more responsible days.

*Gulp*

Facebook and Twitter and Updates, Oh my!

I am self-diagnosed sufferer of ADD.

It's true.

Every time I become exasperated with my inability to focus on one thing at a time, I make ADD my scapegoat.

It's hip. It's convenient. And it's the truth.

Maybe not that last one. I don't have to worry about being good til January 1 because my New Year's Resolution of behaving doesn't kick in til then.

I'm pretty sure one of the things that feeds my ADD is my penchant for social media. But I don't really care because I enjoy getting to know people on the internetz.

Exhibit A: this blog

So I have widened my parameters of communication so that I can get to know you, my friends, in your inner sanctums. Like Facebook and Twitter.

I am thoroughly convinced that Twitter is crack to my ADDness. I feel like I can embrace being random because I am confined to 140 characters. This simultaneously thrills and terrifies me. Signing into Twitter almost makes me feel like I'm playing virtual ping-pong.

Not Pong. I feel like Myspace is more like Pong. Sorry, Myspace. 

Not that there's anything wrong with Pong. Sorry to group you in with Myspace, Pong.

 You can follow my randomness here...if you're up for it.

For a more conventional (and who in 2006 thought Facebook would be considered "conventional?") means of communication, I have started a Facebook page. On Facebook, I feel a little safer, a little more streamlined, a little more cohesive. I feel like I can stop and smell the roses or have a leisurely chat with someone. It's all good in the Facebook world. To follow my page, you can click the "Like" button on the left sidebar. Or you can go here.

Also, my posts are available through RSS feeds (like in a Google Reader) or via email subscription. I'm just here to give you more and more options until your head explodes because variety is the spice of life.

FYI: I'm trying to figure out a way to make my sidebars a little more aesthetically pleasing. If anyone has any suggestions for improvement/coding already done for me, I'll give you all of my milk money.

Seriously.

Sidenote: has anyone finished off their holiday dessert buffets? My mom baked two batches of cookies today, and our supply of sugar has been replenished. This is why I'm never growing up and getting a real job.

Just kidding. Hopefully.

This post today was brought to you by the letters "A" and "D"...and "D."